Feral Feelings: How (And When) to Begin Anew

Dear Feral Feelings,

I both love and hate New Year's, mostly because the whole New Year’s resolution thing is fraught for me. I love a fresh start and I want to manifest a new beginning, but I hate the pressure of knowing what goals to set. Or I know what they are but I don’t do them. I feel like I do it wrong every year. How can I be better at setting NYE intentions? I really want to follow through in 2026!

Sincerely,

New Year's Ennui

Dearest NYE,

Who among us hasn’t struggled with New Year’s Eve resolutions? I bet if I were to ask that question to an audience, I’d hear the loudest silence.

Fraught is an excellent word for the way New Year’s Eve brings up anxiety and confusion: what do I want? How do I get it? And how will I feel if I don’t succeed?

Many people feel ambivalent about New Year’s; even more outright loathe it. We feel like a failure when our New Year’s Eve resolution doesn’t come to fruition and sour on the sentiment altogether. But you, NYE, want to lean into your love of New Year’s and figure out how to manifest your goals.

As a matter of due diligence, I want to offer you some conventional wisdom about setting goals:

Goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-based. This framework uses the acronym S.M.A.R.T., thus it is referred to as “Smart Goals.” Here’s some depth:

1. Specific: Instead of “I want to exercise more,” you might say, “I want to work out at the Port Townsend Athletic Club twice a week to clear my mind.” It is important to name what, who, when, where and why.
2. Measurable: Instead of “I want to write more poetry,” you might say, “I want to complete one poem per month.” Being able to track progress lets you know you are successful.
3. Achievable: Instead of “I want to get rich,” you might say, “I want to save $200 per month.” Setting yourself up with realistic expectations allows you to meet your goals.
4. Relevant: If you are already burnt out, saying something like, “I want to take on more creative projects,” will ensure failure. Try saying, “I want to streamline the creative projects I already have so I am less burnt out.”
5. Time-based: Instead of, “I want to write a book someday,” you might say, “I want to write one chapter per month.”

Now that I have satisfied my desire to give a concrete answer to your sincere question, I want to encourage you to wait on setting New Year’s goals until Spring. If you want to create anew with goal setting, you need to begin in a season of life. January is not a season of life. January is a season of death. Death does important work.

I am not the first to think January isn’t the time to set goals. Many cultures throughout history, and today, mark a new year in the Spring. But the Gregorian calendar dominates the world over, and most cultures mark the new year just as Winter is descending. We end one cycle in a day, in the dead of winter, and tell everyone their new cycle should begin tomorrow as if it were spring. There is no space between when one year ends and the next begins.

We have become asynchronous with the natural world. Growing anew in winter is not at all how nature works. This is how Industry works. In every season Industry wants our labor and attention.

The industrialized world has no time for death’s work, it demands infinite growth without pause.

We do not allow one year to fully die before beginning the next. This is one reason why many New Year's resolutions don’t stick. In January, we need stillness, darkness, and reprieve. Who we were last year is dissolving, degrading and coming apart. This process is necessary for the new life ahead and it's necessary to manifest your goals.

So, NYE, reach for your S.M.A.R.T. goals once the skunk cabbage blooms. Let the Winter be a time of quiet retreat, rest, and quality time with your loved ones. Eat rich food and sleep in. Read and write. Collage by candlelight. Make soup. And then, at the first signs of Spring, reflect on who you’ve become and wonder what you want as you emerge from your hibernation. That version of you will likely feel more resourced and resolved to meet your goals. But for now, let death do its work.