Feral Feelings: Unbinding From Creative Blocks

[caption id align="alignnone" width="2304"]

Photo by Amber Autumn Leaves Huntsman  [/caption]

Dear Feral Feelings,

Do you have any recommendations for working with creative blocks? In the past, I have enjoyed both painting and drawing, but these days I can’t seem to find the time for either. So many things get in the way, like work, social engagements/obligations, chores/errands, and the black hole of social media. These days, creative practice feels like too much effort, so I avoid it, but then I feel bummed out that I’m not doing it. I’m stuck in a loop of wanting to do it, not doing it, and then feeling bad about it. What should I do?

Sincerely, Spiraling

Dear Spiraling,

Recently, I’ve been deep-diving into Norse Mythology. I took a wonderful workshop with a folk storyteller from Scotland who re-told the story of the binding of Fenrir, the great wolf prophesied to bring about Ragnarök- the end of the world. Fenrir, born of the god Loki and the giantess Angrboða, was feared by the great god Odin. The Norns, three sisters who spun the threads of fate, warned Odin that Fenrir would battle him to the death and unleash chaos upon the land. Thus, Odin bound Fenrir in an enchanted loop of gold thread, keeping the wolf in captivity so life could go on as usual. It is said that Fenrir remains bound to this day, but- binding him did not change to prophesy. The Norns foretell he’ll be unleashed one day. When he is, Fenrir will kill the gods of order and the world as we know it will end. Then, a new green world will emerge, and life will be reborn.

“Creativity takes us out of our known worlds. Creativity brings about a small Ragnarök each time we access it. And, in doing so, a new world is born. ”

One of the most potent aspects of folklore is how stories can be interpreted for meaning from many angles. Folklore is prismatic. When this story was retold to me, it was from the angle of the wild, untamed spirit Fenrir represents. Instead of being a villain, Fenrir can be understood as the bringer of a kind of chaos that re-wilds a disenchanted world. The gods bring about order, yes, but at what cost? How much have we lost for the sake of “order” to men who call themselves gods? Fenrir can be seen as the feral nature of the human soul bound by those who fear its power.

I see your potential to create, Spiraling, as having been bound for the sake of order. There’s a certain safety in being bound, I believe. The sense of order that comes with the rhythm of work, chores, obligations, and social engagement puts us at ease. I notice we are all driven by the opposing desire for order and disorder, each being a liability in its own way. Too much disorder, and we cannot function. Too much order, and we cannot create. I see you struggling with the latter, and you are definitely not alone. Many of us can become so imprisoned by our need for safety that we cut off our ability to be expressive. Creative practice is, in a way, not very safe. It’s vulnerable, messy and non-rational. For most of us, our creative practice doesn’t make money, make other people happy, or accomplish anything practical. Instead, creativity comes from the realm of dreams, fantasies, and myths- the great unknown.

In one of my favorite books for overcoming artistic blocks, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, she says:

“A creative life is an amplified life. It’s a bigger life, a happier life, an expanded life, and a hell of a lot more interesting life. Living in this manner—continually and stubbornly bringing forth the jewels that are hidden within you—is a fine art, in and of itself.”

Creativity takes us out of our known worlds. Creativity brings about a small Ragnarök each time we access it. And, in doing so, a new world is born. Creating, be it through drawing, painting, or any other medium, is an unbinding. To create, you must put down the cords that are keeping you from your practice. You say you cannot find the time, Spiraling, and I challenge you to make the time. Time to create is never found, it is made. There is always something more pressing or more practical to attend to. Making your creative practice a priority means setting boundaries with yourself and others so you have the space you need to create. To create, you must bring yourself to your practice over and over again, in whatever way you can.

Create when you are happy, when you are exhausted, when you are pressed for time. Create when you feel empty, when you feel inspired, and when the dishes are piling up in the sink. Create early in the morning or late at night. Create with a schedule or when you feel the impulse. Create because you can. Create because, eventually, you will die, and your hours of avoiding your practice will run out. Create because you are alive now. Something is always sacrificed when you create. And, when you make those sacrifices, you make your practice a sacred habit. So, Spiraling, I challenge you to unbind your creative practice and let the wolf within you roam free.

Amber Autumn Leaves Huntsman is a psychotherapist, poet, and Hedgewitch haunting our local beaches and estuaries.

Do you have a problem that you think Feral Feelings could answer? Send them to feralfeelings@jeffcobeacon.com